Equanimity
by c.mary.c
Summary: (n.) Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. Inspired by true events. *the 2nd companion to Perfect Blood* AU -Complete-


When you find yourself tipped over by the gusts of life;  
>when you fall to the floor and shatter.<br>There are those who will walk around your pieces, lest they cut themselves upon the scatter.  
>But others will pick up your broken bits, they'll cherish all they can gather.<br>These are the ones to whom you must hold on forever -not those who forsook you-  
>but the ones who glued you back together.<br>-Shakieb Orgunwall-

* * *

><p>The candles were lit when they came. I was regrettably caught in the very compromising position of being in my highest stilettos and prettiest lingerie when I heard the 'ping' of the elevator. My heart leapt from the thrill of excitement; it was Ed's birthday -his real one- and he was finally home from a month-long tour of duty. I had planned everything perfectly. The apartment smelled like the home-made beef stew he loved and the fresh-baked apple pie he always begged for. I had reduced the stew to a low simmer to keep it warm so we would have plenty of time to work up an appetite.<p>

I gave myself a quick once-over before going out to greet him. My 4-inch heels were black and shiny, my black panties were cheeky with delicate lace in all the right places, and the bra was just as black, just as lacy, and just enough push-up to make me extra brave. I pulled out my ponytail letting my hair cascade down my back, and I pulled on one of Ed's white button-up dress shirts. Grinning wickedly at myself in the mirror, I took a deep breath and sauntered out to greet him.

The great room was empty. I looked around for a moment in confusion, knowing that I had definitely heard the elevator open moments before.

"Ed?" I called, glancing around.

Powerful arms gripped around me and a hand clapped over my mouth, forcing my head back as a low voice whispered in my ear,

"Where is the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

I felt the blood drain from my face as my heart fell. Three more figures came into my vision's periphery, and I broke out in a cold sweat when I saw the way their eyes roamed my body. They grinned deviously and one of them began to spin a roll of duct tape around on his finger.

"Well look what we've got here." One of them said, "You must be Fullmetal's pretty little whore." The one holding the tape stepped to me and ran a finger across my cheek.

"Didn't know he was keeping company, and such pretty company at that. I'll have fun with you later." Ice ran through my veins and my arm was squeezed mercilessly.

"Where is the Fullmetal Alchemist?!" My captor roared in my ear. "I won't ask again!" I shook my head away from his hand and yelped.

"He's not here!" I was shoved away and fell to the floor as they formed a circle around me. I pulled Ed's shirt around me tightly in effort to cover myself from their roaming eyes.

"I've gathered that!" The irate man hollered. They were all disguised by ski masks, leading me to believe that they might be people Edward knew since they were worried about not being recognized and they had the code to the elevator. The man who shoved me -clearly their leader- stopped and looked me over, taking in my state of pre-meditated undress and looked around noticing the lit candles on the coffee table and the sweet-smelling air of the apple pie cooling on the counter.

"He's not here, but he will be soon." He said as he looked back at me. "You're expecting him."

"How did you get up here?" I asked. "How did you break in?" But my question went ignored. The four men started rattling off to each other in a language I didn't recognize and I was suddenly hoisted to my unstable feet and found myself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Move one muscle, make one sound, and you'll regret it. You'll do everything we say, otherwise, bam."

* * *

><p>For a group of criminals smart enough to break into Ed's apartment, they definitely weren't a sophisticated or organized bunch. I soon realized that they were in fact a bunch of morons if they thought breaking into the Fullmetal Alchemist's apartment was a good idea to begin with. If they knew he lived in Central, then they must be associated with the military, and they definitely knew what he was capable of, so why would they even try to kill him? In criminal circles, Edward was Kaiser Soze-level scary, so I found it odd they would even try to confront him. They had come out of our bedroom after cracking open the compartment built into the wall that housed Ed's guns, and hooted and whooped with glee like kids on Christmas as they took the favorites for themselves and dismantled whatever was left. It was like they'd forgotten all about me on the sofa as they went on and on to one another about great it would be once the Fullmetal Alchemist was dead.<p>

Edward had taught me enough about knowing the difference between assholes who just needed attitude adjustments and real psychopaths who were actually worth being afraid of, and my fear began to fade when I realized this bunch was just a group of knuckleheads who somehow got the code for the elevator and clearly didn't know what they were getting themselves into. A microscopic part of me felt sorry for them, they must not have known how difficult it was to kill Edward. They were completely unaware of what would happen when Ed came home to find them toying with his weapons, eating his beef stew and apple pie and pouring his scotch down the sink. I watched them waving the guns around like adolescents and pillaging the house taking Ed's expensive leather jackets for themselves and pocketing the diamond earrings Ed had bought me for Christmas, talking about the high price they'd fetch. They had no clue that when Edward came home expecting to see me smiling and running into his open arms, but instead find me bound and gagged on the living room sofa, half-naked and helpless, that they would all wind up dead for it.

My stomach turned when one of them sauntered over to me, slid his hand up my naked thigh and traced the tip of his gun barrel along my exposed collar-bone.

"It's my lucky day, coming up here looking for Fullmetal but finding you instead." He said as his greedy eyes drank me in, "He really got himself one hot piece of ass. You and I are gonna have some fun." His breath blew over my face as he crept closer, the scent of the apple pie I made especially for Ed washing over me, and my blood boiled. The tape was suddenly ripped off my mouth and I yelped in pain.

"Keep quiet!" Their ring leader ordered, coming over to stand next to his subordinate as he stopped him from grabbing me. He cut the tape from my wrists and ankles, and leveled his gun to my head. He then shoved a cell phone in my hand and said,

"Before I let you have fun with Barry, order takeout. I'm still hungry." I gaped at him in disbelief.

"What?" I asked utterly dumbfounded.

"Order food now!" He pressed the gun barrel to my head. I acquiesced and with shaky fingers dialed the first phone number that came to mind. Hopefully, the moron squad wouldn't catch on to what I was doing.

*Hello?* Edward's smooth voice rang from the other end.

"Ah, yea Hi I'd like to order a few pizzas? How soon can you be here?" The line was quiet for a moment.

*Winry? Where are you calling me from? This isn't your number.*

"I'd like extra-large please." I said, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. Ed was smart, I knew he'd figure it out, I was just praying the guy pointing a gun in my face wouldn't catch on.

*Babe, did you take one of my Vicodin again?* I could hear him grinning. *You know I need those for my upgrades.*

"No, I don't want to hear about the specials." I said sternly. "I just really need to order pizza. I'm really hungry, how soon can you be here?"

He paused again before responding quietly,

*90 seconds. I'm walking in the building. How many are there?* I blanked. I couldn't answer four, it would be too obvious.

*Nevermind, I'm getting in the elevator now.*

"Wait!" I gasped, and gulped as I glanced up at my captor who was clearly annoyed at me for taking so long. I took a deep breath to not sound nervous and said,

"We need veggies. Put veggies on the pizza. All ours are no good." I mentally begged him to understand I was telling him to bring a gun. I knew Ed went everywhere armed, but I just wanted to play it safe.

*...I have a Glock in my waistband. Hang up and hit the floor in ten...*

I looked up at the barrel aimed at my head and gulped as I spoke over him, "The address is 310..."

*...eight ...seven...*

"...Wall Street..."

*...five ...four...*

"...on the seventh floor..."

*...two...*

The elevator dinged and all four intruders froze gaping at each other, then swung their guns around to aim at the elevator.

*...get down Winry...*

"I love you."

I hurled the phone across the room to smash against the opposite wall, distracting the intruders so I could drop to the floor just as the elevator doors opened to a flurry of screams and gunfire.

* * *

><p>We sat next to each other on the kitchen floor with our legs stretched in front of us crossed at the ankles and our backs propped up against the destroyed cabinets. We were watching the investigations team along with homicide carry bagged bodies into the elevator and I surveyed the room around us. Everything was destroyed. Goose feathers from couch pillows were strewn everywhere among the broken glass, pools of blood had begun to dry where the victims dropped and bullet holes had peppered absolutely everything. Two of the intruders had gotten their hands on Ed's AR-15s and had blasted to room to kingdom come while trying to shoot him. It wasn't a long fight, it was over in less than a minute, but it became even more stressful when the ring leader was shot several times and dropped right on top of me. I hadn't stopped shaking since the violence stopped and the dead weight was dragged off of me by Edward, who crushed me to him and frantically checked me for wounds, asking if I was alright.<p>

We had sat together on the only glass-free spot in the kitchen for about 20 minutes as the military went to work, assessing damage and unmasking the intruders -all ex-soldiers with personal vendetta's against Edward- and getting statements from me. Ed eventually waved them off saying we'd do the rest in the morning. Ed stood and pulled me up with him, but stopped me from walking on my own and scooped me up in his arms instead. The floors were a smattering of blood, shattered glass and clumps of couch stuffing along with chunks of wood from the destroyed bookshelves; walking in heels would be difficult. He carried me into the bedroom, eased the door shut behind him and moved into the bathroom with me. He set me down on the counter next to the sink and turned on the shower to warm up as he looked me over. I was splattered with the enemies' blood and still shaking from the adrenaline. Ed stripped off his black t-shirt and I had no time to admire the view before he quickly wet the shirt and began carefully wiping the blood smears from my face.

"You didn't get any in your eyes or mouth, right?" He asked. I shook my head. He kneeled to the floor and gently slid off my heels before slowly rising back up as he checked my legs for any cuts from the broken glass.

"This wasn't how I pictured our reunion going." I said, as he slid his blood-smeared dress shirt down my arms and tossed it in the trash. "I had a really nice birthday dinner planned for you. I'm sorry Ed."

He stopped and gazed at me, before taking my face in his hands so I'd look at him.

"Don't be ridiculous, you have nothing to apologize for." He kissed me softly. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here on time. I got stuck in traffic. It's that damn Long Island Expressway, it's the place where hope goes to die."

I giggled and he grinned wide.

"There's my girl." He said relieved, and helped me off the counter before gathering me into his arms, not caring about the blood.

"I could've lost you today." He murmured.

"You didn't. I'm right here, because you protected me."

I stepped into the shower leaving him to shirk his boots and remaining clothes as I stood under the scalding water and sadly stripped off my ruining lingerie. I watched the water swirling under me, waiting for the stream to stop running red and I felt my eyes water. I almost died. Edward could've died. I silently wondered if I'd ever get used to it, if this life would ever become easier. Everything was extremes, either black or white, never in between. I always felt perfectly safe, and if I wasn't safe it was because some lunatic was pointing a gun at my head. There was no medium. Always nothing or everything. I didn't notice Ed enter the shower and close the door behind him. I only briefly noticed his long blood-stained hair falling over his shoulders and the steam rising around his beautiful body, but I took special notice of the way he kissed me softly and moved a washcloth over every inch of me, careful to get every smear of blood. I took notice of how he silently coaxed my hands to wash the blood from his hair and arms. I took notice of how he gazed at me so intently for the first time in the month that he'd been away, and how he pressed me into the cool tile wall, his kissing becoming more urgent and his skillful hands telling me what we'd be doing next. I was hoisted up and my legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed me harder against the wall and softly devoured my neck.

"I'm sorry Winry," he said between kisses on my throat and jawline. "I'm so sorry."

I pushed against his shoulder and pulled back to look at him.

"This wasn't your fault Ed."

"I should've been here."

"You know you can't help that. We'll just step up security." I said optimistically. I knew it sounded naïve, but being negative wouldn't change anything, and it wouldn't stop Ed from beating himself up. He shook his head solemnly.

"You don't deserve this life. You should be better protected from my baggage."

"Hey," I said, raking my hands into his hair and forcing him to look at me. "You do an amazing job of protecting me. You've kept me a secret so stop blaming yourself. They weren't after me, they came up here looking for you. They weren't expecting anyone else to be here."

He looked unconvinced. I rested my hands on his shoulders and kissed him softly.

"I know what I signed up for. I signed up for a life with someone who loves me, and protects me while empowering me. I signed up for a life with you knowing all the risks, and I wouldn't change our life because we never would have met if our lives weren't a crazy mess. I'll take any life I can get and long as it's one I get to spend with you."

His mouth curled up into that smart smirk that I loved, and he rested his forehead against my own, closing his eyes as he sighed.

"You really are the perfect woman." He said grinning, knowing how much I detested the word 'perfect'.

"Oh shut up Elric."

"Make me Rockbell."

And so I did.

* * *

><p>AN: I've been thinking about writing snapshots of the life Ed and Winry share after the end of Perfect Blood. Much like the 2 year gap at the end of Brotherhood, there's a lot of story that could exist there. I was considering writing a new story which would actually be Perfect Blood from Edward's POV, but I'm not sure that's something we need in it's entirety. For now, I'm concentrating on writing short pieces that detail the ways that Ed and Winry have grown individually since coming into each other's lives, and how they've changed not only themselves but one another while still dealing with the baggage they both bring to the relationship. The inspiration for this came from the story of the woman who called 911 for help while pretending to order a pizza so her abusive husband wouldn't know. I thought that was sheer genius, and I can imagine Winry being clever enough to do something similar. Hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.


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